While the album might not slap, Will Smith certainly does.
At real risk of detailing something, straight away, I would sincerely recommend against wasting your time with, as well as giving more undeserving attention to someone who is thirsty for it, here’s a quick rundown:
“Based on a True Story” is actually a misleading distraction from Smith’s real life assault on comedian Chris Rock at the Oscars award show. After the violence, Smith claimed on live TV that he was called on by God to be “a vessel for love” and called Jada his wife.
This, not the slap, is what surprised Jada– they had been living “completely separate lives” for years. Will Smith described this scenario as a “bad marriage for life,” according to the New York Times. Meanwhile the Washington Post writes Jada had been in a multi year relationship with her son's close friend, which she rebranded an "entanglement" and Will Smith is adamant was a “relationship.”
Even Jada’s mom reported about the slap, “It didn’t have anything to do with Jada. That was really Will’s pain.”
Smith’s most creative feat, therefore, is to be so public and described as radically honest and keep these secrets, until they can no longer hold, at which point the unenviable oddities are then spun, rebranded and sold. On the album all this becomes: “'Cause when I love you, it's like you hit the lottery.”
The best thing I can say is the music is neither noteworthy nor objectionable. Being rich affords Smith the ability to buy decent beats. He has been able to adapt and contemporize, from his goofy teen 1980’s into his shiny blockbuster family dances at weddings late 90's era. The smorgasbord of 29 guest singers are generally appreciated, as they provide a respite until Smith starts rapping again.
Smith’s previous hits often had him on the soundtracks of his own movies, hyping himself, repeating the movie titles in the choruses. If they are good, it is probably because he took an already popular older hit and added words.
He stopped that 20 years ago. Why return to music? Because he is doing PR work for the Will Smith brand. It’s a family business.
The album's existence and its substance is a vanity project. It is brand propaganda. How do you assess the artistry of a BP commercial after an oil spill?
Despite what Smith would tell you his new album is not important.
Few people in the world enthusiastically noticed on March 28, 2025 when Smith's soundtrack (of 14 hip hop songs) to his damage control campaign was released.
Public violence in response to words is important. As are overly sensitive bullies who censor others and claim they are the victims. Megalomaniacs with little to offer than fraudulent boasts; authoritarianism waged through whiny so-called martyrdom; elitist propaganda called populism– these are crucial issues of our times. All vastly more important than Smith's music, which is slight, despite employing 22 different producers.
Smith's lyrics detail his thought process on these themes, so I will focus on them. The beats change, but Smith's obsessions often seem like one epic 37 minute narcissistic rant. Think of it as a prog rap opera and each song is but a movement within the larger piece– variations on the grand theme of Will Smithood. I will agree with Smith that he is abnormal, which makes a traditional music review difficult.
“Whole world against me and it ain't even bothering me." We will see just how easily Smith can let things go.
The world “attacks us. We stay centered with our hearts on axis.” If we learn one thing, it is Smith’s extremes.
He’s either the self-pitying martyr:
Fame is steep, he’s cursed and been through Hell on Earth.
Or delusionally self-aggrandizing:
“I'm a icon, somebody you could base your life on.” “I manifest through my mentality, the only real is my reality” (this likely explains everything).
Or both.
Though he may no longer be able to make a No. 1 hit, he now brags he's "number one on the hit list.” “They” tried “to bleed” him, but even that was a gift. If he has flaws, they are beautiful.
The slap? Why did he do it? Only to be relatable: “See, I'm only human.”
For a truly compelling, contradictory psyche, look to wife Jada’s self-confessed true soul mate Tupac (“Me Against the World”).
Atypically, modestly assessing himself, mathematician is one occupation Smith doesn’t claim (Computationally he’s not even the fourth best rapper from Philly: Black Thought reigns supreme).
He flatters his listeners, each is “the one in a million, billion.” Although the math might not be so far off, as it was reported during its debut week the album had a mere 36 digital downloads and 268 copies sold.
He’s looking for answers and finally we do get some good ones. Why is he held ransom by his ego? Why is he controlled by fear? His conclusion: life is the thing that can get ugly and anyway who cares because, he, the movie star, is handsome. With this he is qualified to give us spiritual advice.
One hopes there exists no one who would mistake Smith for a sage, but it is the sad truth, if not him specifically, his celebrity ilk and their self-centered, vaguely feel good, yet vindictive message have long been the dominant U.S. pop-spirituality.
Smith is only even-keeled when he is spouting innocuous cliches. They are only of note when they become ridiculous.
“Oh, I'm like Confucius, life is confusing.”
“Nobody said it be easy. But why, it used to be easy.”
He even possesses a supposed key to life: “Life gon' keep lifin'”and the reason "light gon' keep lightin'" is cause "knives gon' keep knifin.'”
He makes it “look so easy” indeed. Like a child (who he also blames for his "tantrums"). Every moment is an opportunity. Embrace the journey. There's night and then there's daytime and there’s different types of weather than just rain.
He doesn't write rhymes, he writes stolen slogans for throw pillows.
Yet Smith assures he "will not sugarcoat..with bubblegum." He means, I think, not dark revelation, but an admission he won’t make the radio anymore.
Please don’t be a “joker" and mistake him and his music as sweet. It isn't. It's medicine. Also, Arizona aerosol (my personal favorite imagery on the album). Is Smith admitting he's hazardous waste in an already dangerously polluted environment? He probably likes to think of himself as the mist over the Grand Canyon. It's hazy.
I think these contradictions are related. Is it because the famously inoffensive entertainer, after having publicly gone on a foul tirade, is now trying to make his vulgarities sound harmless and his anger and megalomania seem holy?
He has really promoted himself from a mere self-anointed prince.
Still, again those nebulous bastards tried to censor him. So he made an album to voice just how he’s voiceless.
For Smith his “holy trinity” is his life, love, and laugh (Here's the needlepoint again).
“I believe in me like it's religion, but I am the only one who converts.” True indeed–he didn’t win me over.
Son Jaden offers us the crucial insight that he's painting in the dark. This seems an apt description of the mess that is this album.
Their family is business and business is life and their life isn't our business, unless it's good for their business.
To get a real sense of the project and the man’s thinking I recommend “Int. Barbershop- Day.”
Is he raising a dysfunctional family, while forcing listeners life lessons because he's convinced he’s more evolved than us? Does he have bad hair? How rich is rich? How big is his pool? Some of these questions are much more important than others. He is trying to confuse us, but I think we get our answers. At least indirectly.
He has gone beyond using the feverish third person. Smith is now his own hype man sycophant too.
There's a cool, normal Smith looking character who confidently says he’s not a bad parent and, like corporate financial criminals, he’s too big to face normal consequences.
Then in drag: “He (is) rich, funny, and sexy too,” his retort if one suspects that he is annoyingly smug.
Not coincidentally, Smith doesn't name specific rappers and challenge them to a musical battle. Still, he calls himself “a king, no denying this.”
As a cross-eyed child, in a novelty propeller hat, sucking on a lollipop, Smith claims he had to return his Oscar. In real life Smith almost pleaded, "I hope the Oscars will have me back." Now revisionist and one-sided, it has become the sulky–"He don't need it."
He also transforms his famous threat, which was meted out with real violence, into a harmless joke, when he repeats it as an old man in a Groucho nose and glasses.
At the end of the video, the real Smith shows up, using his real Oscar as a prop, nonchalantly scratching his head with it, and the fat old barber who has voiced most of the pertinent criticisms, instantly turns obsequious and welcomes the star in.
The world saw him assault a coworker. Smith eventually apologized profusely for his wrongdoing. Now he has hired composers to try and absolve himself and complain that people want to “cancel” him.
If you are trying to distract us from the obvious, you need to make better music.
At a glance:
Artist: Will Smith
Release date: March 28, 2025
Length: 14 songs 37:10
Label: Slang
Genre: Hip hop
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